called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize