I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
