we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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