so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
