How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
