Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
