I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
