i permit you to call me
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
