another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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