32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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