I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
