shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
