I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
