quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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