Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize