In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
