I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
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Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
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Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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