If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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