she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
worst night to have a conscience
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
