i permit you to call me
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
