Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
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Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
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Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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