The maid of honor just puked.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
