Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
