A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
