my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
