Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
