Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
