a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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