Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
