She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
