Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
