Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
