Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
