I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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