oh god the rape fog is back!
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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