the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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