Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize