Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
