i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
