no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
