I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
