i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I still have a little drunk in my system
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
