Too much gin, very little bucket
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
