Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
