Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Randomize
