Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
40s are totally the cure
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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