Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
