i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
