Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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