a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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