break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
