he wants to bone in the snuggie
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize