I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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