Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
