The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
