it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
