You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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