Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
