She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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